The Lost Entity

Every Summer, I always looked forward to the long week-end holidays of Memorial Day Weekend and the July 4Th.I didn't particularly care for Labor Day Weekend as it denotes the end of long idyllic summer days and the onset of blustery short cold days. But this year, all my planning was for naught!!July 4Th happened to fall right smack in the middle of the week- WEDNESDAY!!! What was that all about? what about my long weekend?. July 4Th was supposed to fall either on Friday or Monday!! not Wednesday!! Not just one measly day off!!.You might ask, why not take 2 days off to make a very long week-end, and ideally that is what I would have done, had I not previously and recklessly( in retrospect) used up my vacation time, leaving me no option but to go to work on Thursday and Friday.

Trying to salvage what I could, I left office early around 3.00ish on Wednesday rushing out of the office to enjoy some "vacation time", as I walked from my office to Port Authority to take the bus home, right in the corner intersection on 40Th and 8Th Avenue by the construction site of the new " New York Times " building in Times Square, I saw a homeless man, sprawled on the road leaning against the wooden boards of the construction site. You could hardly miss him.I smelt him halfway down the block before I came across him. His face was weather darkened and his unkempt matted hair and beard covered his face so I could hardly see his expression. But the little I could see, squashed any idea of approaching him to offer some money. Rather than walk anywhere near him, I crossed the road and took a round about route to reach my destination. I felt a momentary pang of sadness for this man but soon forgot about him and started thinking of how to maximize my short " vacation".

The next day on July 4Th,I had made plans to go shopping with my friends,rather than go to a barbecue. For one thing, it was safer for my waist line and other the weather was definitely not cooperating and it looked like we were going to get rained on. I preferred to be indoors feasting my eyes on the latest fashion while sipping mocha frappacchino than sitting in the patio looking at the extremely undercooked drumstick offered graciously by my culinary challenged friend while the rain drummed down my ears. Not an appealing picture!.

I got out of Port Authority and started walking towards Macy's on 34Th street,when a sudden stench made my stomach turn. I looked towards the corner of 40Th and 8Th avenue and to my amazement the homeless man lay in the same position I saw him on the previous day. It looked like he had not moved at all in all that time. I saw passers by walking past him, ignoring him and there he lay in his motionless state staring blankly at the space in front of him. I tried to not stare at him as I walked past him when a friend of mine I had not seen in a while came by, soon chatting with him, I got distracted and we walked past the lifeless man and headed on our way. Later in the day, after spending a relaxing day shopping with my friends I headed back home and as I neared Port Authority the familiar stench wafted by and there he was in the same position.

I could no longer ignore him. All Jesus's teachings flashed by in my head. The Good Samaritan Story and to also paraphrase another verse in bible, when Jesus on Judgement Day separates the good from bad and asks " When I was hungry did you feed Me? ".When He questions me, what do I say?. But in the same token, that man scared the living daylights out of me. I was not courageous enough to approach him on my own. As an answer to my dilemma I saw two police officers nearby and I approached them and asked them if they would stand near by while I offered the man some food just in case if the man took upon himself to attack me rather than take the food.But one of the police officers warned me not to offer food but be on my way. When I asked him, what was to become of the homeless man, he informed me there were shelters for homeless and I should stay clear of the man and to reinstate his point, he told me, his wife was attacked while offering food to an homeless man so I should just walk away.

I slowly headed on home, feeling completely inadequate. I know, me offering a sandwich is not going to improve that man's life by any standard but it would have assuaged my conscience and it would have been a respite more for me than that man, but I was denied. Should I have tried some way to help him? what could have I done?. Did I become that person who walks past the suffering humanity and consider them as Human Refuse?.

I know we will always have the poor, but if we do not try to eradicate it and try to provide better conditions for the less fortunate but become disenchanted, what does that make us as a society?.That homeless man held a looking glass mirror in front of me, and what I saw I did not like!, I know I failed this day and I hope I will not forget this pain soon, for if I did, it will be the death of my soul.