Razor by Foo Fighter......melodious break for your enjoyment

Love Him when I am down and out

I have reached an impasse in my life. Career wise I wanted to make drastic changes which can only be effected with my going back to college to get my masters degree. I found a part time program in the college of my dreams. I have always wanted to attend this particular Ivy league college. Don't ask me why, for there are other Ivy league colleges in the U.S, but for me, the culmination of all my dreams ended with me attending this college. As the program was part time I could still attend college and work at the same time, which was a major criteria for me. Finding the college and the program seemed to be the easy part. After that everything else seemed to go down hill. I needed permission from my company authorizing me to attend the class, that was one of the stipulations of the program. My company was not in the habit of allowing their employees to attend school while under their employment. The tuition was astronomical and I was having a hard time getting student loan. The list of obstacles are endless. Needless to say, I was feeling quite disenchanted and discouraged. To distract myself, I flipped on the idiot box, planning to drown all my thoughts with the mindless occupation of staring at some TV show, As chance would have it, the movie that was on, " Facing Giants" or some such thing,I got to see the movie halfway through. It was a story of a coach, who faces some real hard knocks of life. When it looks like his complete life is falling apart, He goes out to the meadows by his home and looking at the early morning sunrise, he raises his hands to the sky and cries" No matter what, I will love You LORD!" It was a very poignant moment.It made me question my relationship with the Almighty.Did I have the strength of soul to declare my love and my loyalty when I am down and out?. For that is true love isn't it? without strings attached.


I will praise You

When I am beaten and defeated
Pushed down by insurmountable force
I will Praise You Lord
I will give You thanks

When tears course streams down my cheeks
And it seems all is lost
With no fight left in me
I will Praise You Lord
I will give You thanks

Though none may stand by me
Alone I face the worldly giants
I will Praise You Lord
I will give You thanks

Though I stumble and fall
And may seem never to rise again
I will Praise You Lord
I will give You thanks

For You have shown me love
Unconditional and without measure
Though I regarded You not
And acknowledged You not

Lord I give You love
A love tested and tempered in the furnace of affliction
For You have shown me what it is to love
Through trials and tribulations I face
Lord I give You love
I give You my All.

My Life in a nutshell

Click On The Sleeping Mouse On Monday Morning!!!!

It Runs in the Family

Today started out fine,late as usual to work,I was busy dodging the multitude, trying to reach my office at a reasonable time. There are code of ethics for late arrival.If you arrive say before 9.30 am, then it is not so bad you are just fashionably late, for who counts half an hour late as being tardy anyways.. really!!, but if you try to sneak past closer to ten, then you better have a very good reason.malfunctioning alarm clock worked for me most times, better yet, visit an ailing friend is also a good one, for how could people nay say that without sounding uncharitable?. But I digress,this post is not about providing you with good excuses.

If you live in the city, you know, that any time of the day,the streets of Manhattan are crowded with people in eternal rush and once you are part of the sidewalk crowd you stop at your own peril!!.Walk jogging on high heels, with many acrobatic manoeuvring i dodged the crowd and made it into the lobby of my building and after spending an eternity in the elevator, i got off on my floor and almost made into the reception area of my work place, when to my chagrin, the vice president of the company and need I mention my boss, entered at the same time and looking at me with his usual blank look, held the door open for me " Allow me". Muttering a quick thank you, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible,I quickly escaped to my room.Great, just Great!!!. just perfect!! one of the cardinal rules of late arrival, you never, ever arrive at the same time as your boss!! That set the tone for the day and none was more happier than I when it was time to head on home. what an absolutely miserable day!!I got home and checked my email to find a message from my nine year old niece.!!
quote:

um, aunty i was thinking of makeing my own news paper for kids to keep track, not just grown ips to know all the latest things . so what do you think of my idea it will be called........THE KIDS DAILY READ......

it will have all the things kids want to know about. it will be great!
tell me what you thing about it
love your niece.

unquote:

Today is a great day!!!

How do we define success

I read this interesting article in BloggerLounge on successful people. The article was on successful dropouts who became a household name with their innumerable feats in their chosen profession.Sure the name that comes to most people's mind is William Gates, but i did not know Ty Warner or Azim Premji belonged to this elite group. Fascinating read.For more on the article, please click on the url link below.

But the article got me thinking.What is success?. why do we all crave for it?.From our first lucid thought, we all strive to achieve. We will still be crawling on all fours if as a child we did not struggle to take our first step!!!


we constantly struggle to better ourselves and our surroundings.We are left with this constant state of wanting.You set a goal for yourself, and work hard towards it's fruition, when you do, you feel this momentary flare of satisfaction but soon you are left with this empty space with the need to fill it quickly with another goal/dream to strive towards.So it would seem,it is the art of wanting rather than the attainment that keeps men moving forward

When you look at yourself,do you see a successful person in the mirror?. and what would be your reason for thinking so?. and if not, why not?. Does success perceived in one man's eyes be looked upon as failure in an another's?. If one measures success by the accumulation of wealth and power,then Warren Buffett may not consider himself a success since he is only the 2nd richest man in the world with his net worth of $52 billion as opposed to William Gates with $56 billion,( compiled by Forbes list ).


If by education,then Micheal Dell(Dell computer corp)may not think himself as successful as Dr Nathan Myhrvold, ceo and managing director of Intellectual Ventures(phd in theoretical and mathematical physics and a master's degree in mathematical economics from Princeton University. He also has a master's degree in geophysics and space physics and a bachelor's degree in mathematics, all from the University of California, Los Angeles)as Micheal Dell dropped out of University of Texas where he was planning to pursue medicine,instead decided to found the PC Company.I can go on with the comparisons, for all of us when compared fall short. so what does success mean? how would you define it?. What is success in your eyes?.



http://bloggerlounge.net/2007/05/31/inspirational-dropouts/#more-338

Choose the Good Portion

In today's Gospel reading Luke:10,38-42. Is the story of the 2 sisters. Martha and Mary. Martha complains to Jesus, saying Mary is sitting idly by His side, whereas she is left to take care of all the hospitality chores. Jesus says to her so gently" Martha, Martha you are troubled and anxious about so many things, Mary has chosen the good portion which will not be taken away from her".

This struck a powerfull chord in me.Lately I have been vexed about many work related issues which were out of my control and spoiling my whole week-end as these nagging doubts and worries were playing in the back of my mind.When you are troubled, your dreams reflects the state of your mind, and you awake in the morning with a tired feeling as your sleep was disturbed by vague restless dreams,which in turn affects your attitude and therein an unhappy marriage of a vicious cycle!!!.That is what has been happening to me since Friday!! The reading today was a bucket of icy cold water being dumped on head!!It definitely woke me up with a vengeance!!!.I was Martha, worrying about things and people beyond my control and all I had to show for my worries were dark circles under my eyes!!!Not at all pleasant!!!In all my day to day stress I had forgotten that I already had the good portion!! Instead of laying my cares on the more than capable shoulders of the Almighty,my mind was misguiding me into thinking everything was under my control. Hardly the case,if truth be told!!!.Then why was I losing sleep?(literally!!!).

When clouds darken your skies
threatening with impending storms
Take a step in Faith
Choose the Good Portion.

When all seems lost
And in reality it seems impossible
Take a step in Faith
Choose the Good Portion

When people say it cannot be done
And none may stand by your side
Take a step in Faith
Choose the Good Portion

When troubles and sickness weigh you down
And you feel you cannot go on
Take a step in Faith
Choose the Good Portion

Though heaven and earth may pass away
His Word does stand true
Martha...Martha I say to you
Choose the Good Portion
It shall not be taken away from you!

Does Not Knowing Justify the Taking?

Comments from a blogger on my recent post " Moment of Truth" got me thinking and the reason for this latest post.The blogger said, if they knew the source of the money then you do the right thing and return it to the rightful owner,if not why return?.Hmmm...so hypothetically speaking, say on one Monday evening,after a long gruelling day at work on your way home, you fight your way thro' the crowded subway and manage to get into the train before it slams shut on your face. You find this one seat still available and thanking your lucky stars you plonk down on the seat to find a bag under your feet,curiously opening the bag...i know!! i know!!Put aside your neo post 9/11 phobia of unattended packages for a minute!!!....you open the bag and find unaccounted money in the bag.Then do you take the money as gift from above or do you try to find the rightful owner and give it back?... It happens to me all the time, I mean, not finding a bag of money, but while walking on the crowded Manhattan streets with my friends. My friends usually ask me step aside, so they can pick up the $20 bill I was standing on!!! They simply follow the adage of "Finders Keepers". So does that mean it's o.k. to keep the smaller bills, but if larger sum then handover to proper authorities?. But large or small it is the concept that matters right?.How do we justify it? Does our necessity justifies the taking?. or not knowing who it belongs to?.

Touching God

If I Don't Have You
What is fresh breath I inhale
Or the blood coursing through my veins
Renewing life within these bones

If I don't have You
What is birth
Or blossoming youth
The dawn and sunset of my life
But a trifle on the earthly kaleidoscope

If I don't have You
Rise to Fame
Nor riches to accentuate my strength
Are but moth eaten garments

If I don't have You
Though in the eyes of the world
I may have everything
Yet I have nothing
I am nothing

When I have You
I lack nothing
You are the fullness of my life
I have everything

Moment of Truth

I read this article in Yahoo News today of "substantial" amount of money falling from the sky in Worms in Berlin. A young woman was driving down the motorway, I am sure preoccupied with thoughts on day's cares, when suddenly she noticed Euros swirling around her car. She stopped her car, tried unsuccessfully to catch all the flying Euros, and went to the Police Station to report the incident. When she led them back to the scene only to find the others had vanished into thin air.It made me wonder,the person in the story was ethical enough to handover the money but obviously the motorists who came after her did not share the same sentiment, hence the vanishing Euros.My question is this. If you were in the woman's shoes what would you have done?. Me?, I am glad it was not me making the choice!.

for full coverage on this story, check out the below link

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070705/od_nm/germany_money_dc;_ylt=Ah8.O0hJrd.LDHmRXwZzUFcZ.3QA

The Lost Entity

Every Summer, I always looked forward to the long week-end holidays of Memorial Day Weekend and the July 4Th.I didn't particularly care for Labor Day Weekend as it denotes the end of long idyllic summer days and the onset of blustery short cold days. But this year, all my planning was for naught!!July 4Th happened to fall right smack in the middle of the week- WEDNESDAY!!! What was that all about? what about my long weekend?. July 4Th was supposed to fall either on Friday or Monday!! not Wednesday!! Not just one measly day off!!.You might ask, why not take 2 days off to make a very long week-end, and ideally that is what I would have done, had I not previously and recklessly( in retrospect) used up my vacation time, leaving me no option but to go to work on Thursday and Friday.

Trying to salvage what I could, I left office early around 3.00ish on Wednesday rushing out of the office to enjoy some "vacation time", as I walked from my office to Port Authority to take the bus home, right in the corner intersection on 40Th and 8Th Avenue by the construction site of the new " New York Times " building in Times Square, I saw a homeless man, sprawled on the road leaning against the wooden boards of the construction site. You could hardly miss him.I smelt him halfway down the block before I came across him. His face was weather darkened and his unkempt matted hair and beard covered his face so I could hardly see his expression. But the little I could see, squashed any idea of approaching him to offer some money. Rather than walk anywhere near him, I crossed the road and took a round about route to reach my destination. I felt a momentary pang of sadness for this man but soon forgot about him and started thinking of how to maximize my short " vacation".

The next day on July 4Th,I had made plans to go shopping with my friends,rather than go to a barbecue. For one thing, it was safer for my waist line and other the weather was definitely not cooperating and it looked like we were going to get rained on. I preferred to be indoors feasting my eyes on the latest fashion while sipping mocha frappacchino than sitting in the patio looking at the extremely undercooked drumstick offered graciously by my culinary challenged friend while the rain drummed down my ears. Not an appealing picture!.

I got out of Port Authority and started walking towards Macy's on 34Th street,when a sudden stench made my stomach turn. I looked towards the corner of 40Th and 8Th avenue and to my amazement the homeless man lay in the same position I saw him on the previous day. It looked like he had not moved at all in all that time. I saw passers by walking past him, ignoring him and there he lay in his motionless state staring blankly at the space in front of him. I tried to not stare at him as I walked past him when a friend of mine I had not seen in a while came by, soon chatting with him, I got distracted and we walked past the lifeless man and headed on our way. Later in the day, after spending a relaxing day shopping with my friends I headed back home and as I neared Port Authority the familiar stench wafted by and there he was in the same position.

I could no longer ignore him. All Jesus's teachings flashed by in my head. The Good Samaritan Story and to also paraphrase another verse in bible, when Jesus on Judgement Day separates the good from bad and asks " When I was hungry did you feed Me? ".When He questions me, what do I say?. But in the same token, that man scared the living daylights out of me. I was not courageous enough to approach him on my own. As an answer to my dilemma I saw two police officers nearby and I approached them and asked them if they would stand near by while I offered the man some food just in case if the man took upon himself to attack me rather than take the food.But one of the police officers warned me not to offer food but be on my way. When I asked him, what was to become of the homeless man, he informed me there were shelters for homeless and I should stay clear of the man and to reinstate his point, he told me, his wife was attacked while offering food to an homeless man so I should just walk away.

I slowly headed on home, feeling completely inadequate. I know, me offering a sandwich is not going to improve that man's life by any standard but it would have assuaged my conscience and it would have been a respite more for me than that man, but I was denied. Should I have tried some way to help him? what could have I done?. Did I become that person who walks past the suffering humanity and consider them as Human Refuse?.

I know we will always have the poor, but if we do not try to eradicate it and try to provide better conditions for the less fortunate but become disenchanted, what does that make us as a society?.That homeless man held a looking glass mirror in front of me, and what I saw I did not like!, I know I failed this day and I hope I will not forget this pain soon, for if I did, it will be the death of my soul.

The Potter

A Page will not be enough
A Day will not suffice as well
To list all Your Deeds
Performed in my life.

Not a day goes by
When You have not revealed Your Hand
Stopping the attacks of the harsh world
In words or deeds.

A moment ago in time
I went about unaware of Your protection
Ignorantly assuming it was all my doing
Silly was me

But now
Not a second passes me by
When I am not guided by Your Divine Grace
Such knowledge is too great for me

What is man to You,
To take such care of him?
To give him the gift
Of thought, feeling and soul
But he uses it all
To separate himself from You.

The earthen ware
Erroneously acts the dictator
Unaware
The Potter standing and watching
Patiently waiting for the pot
To come into realization.

Lord!!! Lord!!!
Mould me and burn me
Make me a vessel worthy
To be held in Your Hand.

Tugging at Heart Strings.

How Beautiful is Life

I read this article today in Yahoo, of a 65 year old polish man Mr Jan Grzebski, who woke up after being in coma for 19 years. Yes!, you read it right, 19 years!!. He used to work for railways in Poland when a work related accident left him in coma for 19 years. The doctors had told his family he would not last more than 3 to 4 years. The wheel chair bound Mr Grzebski, credits his life to the unflagging care of his wife Gertruda, who made sure to turn him every hour to avoid bedsore infections and what nots.This lady reminds me of the words of King Lemuel, on the things taught by his mother
Proverbs:31, verse:10-12:
"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life".
This is one such woman, who never gave up on her husband.

Poland was a communist country in 1988 when he went into coma, and now he awakens to a new dawn of a democratic country. The communist Poland of rationed meat, and meager supplies is no more, and he awakens to having his needs met by the country.His family has grown, his four children are all married and he is now the proud grand father of 11 grand children.He has been given the chance to get to know his grandchildren, it is a true blessing from God.When you become a parent, all of a sudden you find this untold joy blossom in your heart, but when that child gives birth to your grandchild,then your joy is complete and your life becomes replete.In that child's eyes, you see all your dreams have come true.
Proverbs 17, verse:6
"Children's children are the crown of old men: and the glory of children are their fathers".

Mr Grzebski is one of the lucky ones, who lived to see the world indeed has become a better place for his grandchildren. Yet there are many untold stories like Mr Grzebski, who were not given the chance, the most famous one of them all was Terry Schiavo, who was slowly starved to death over a period of 13 days, with the world watching, in this democratic land of the free, flowing with milk and honey. Which makes me wonder, do we really know God's plans?, if then who are we to play God?.

to read more on this story on yahoo: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070602/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_poland_awakening

Can we ascertain the value of a human being?

On May 31st, CNN.IBNLIVE.COM covered a story about a dalit boy,Vinod, who was tied to a tree, humiliated,had his head shaved, beaten by a group of lawyers, irony of it all, "within the court premises".This spectacular degradation was done with much fanfare, surrounded by a jeering audience with a television camera to record this to posterity.Lawyers, who are supposed to be pillars of law and order,led this onslaught against humanity. In a world, where we have many organizations to protect the rights of animals etc, does a dalit value less than a beast?. when do we say " say when?".

for video of this heinous act, check the below link.

http://www.ibnlive.com/videos/41757/debate-why-lawyers-break-all-laws.html

Now I know the unknowns of my knowns

OutSourcing- Creating a New Class of American Poor

This holiday week-end, instead of hitting the beaches, i went Air Conditioner shopping, as my old A.C'S decided to finally give up their lives and with the early swealtering heat, all I could think of was running to the nearest Lowe's to get A.C's. It seemed every one had the same idea and there seemed to be a mad dash to that section. Since it was mostly men who were shopping, they all seemed to know which one to pick. Unfortunately that was not the case with me!, My level of expertise in this field was to point the remote to the A.C and turn it on.

So I did the next best thing, I went looking for a store clerk to help me through this maze!. Lucky for me, I found a clerk soon, who was very helpful and advised me not to buy the whole store just to install my A.C, thanks to him, i did not end up buying useless pile of must haves, which i saw someone else pick up!

While, he was filing my delivery order status, I asked him how long he had been working in this store. At that time, it seemed like an harmless question to kill the time, while my order was being processed, polite chitchat you know! (the polite thing to do according to my mother), But I ended up hearing more than I bargained for. He told me, he just started a week ago, and how he used to be in customer service in a major telecommunications company, but after 10 years of working for them, he was let go, not due to his poor job performance, but the company's CEOS decided it is profitable to outsource his job!!!. I could see the man's pain and betrayal in his eyes, even then, all he could say was, how he was one of the lucky ones to find another job quickly and many of his colleagues were not so lucky. They still had to pay the bills, provide for their children all without a sustainable income!!.

All of a sudden, out sourcing was not just another by word we used in our coffee chats, it had very personal undertones. We hear of many major companies out sourcing all the customer service positions to third world countries, but no one thinks about the Americans who held these posts previously, what is to become of them?, sure some may find other positions, but what about others, whom it may not be a viable option?. What is to become of them?.For if our major companies act as Profiteers, then are we not in the rick of creating a new class of American Poor?.

Discernment

Give me the words, O Lord
To Praise Thee as befits Thee.
For Thou art Holy and Pure
But I am a sinner living in a sinful world
My thoughts art not Thy thoughts
And my ways art not Thy Ways


Give me an understanding mind, O Lord
To comprehend Thy Majesty and Timelessness
For I am but a transient being
Here today and gone tomorrow


Give me a discerning spirit, O Lord
To impress upon me Thy Omnipresence
I am not hid from Thee day or night
My Thoughts art but an open book to Thee.
Where forth will I go to get away from Thee?
For Thou art with me, in me and around me.

Beacon Of Hope

quote:

Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles.
"Keep ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips.
"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

unquote

As the poet Emma Lazarus, so magically captured is the true essence of America. A nation built on the blood and sweat of the immigrant workers, who yearned for a place to call their own.Every paved street you step on, every leveled mountain you pass through carries many untold stories of the immigrants and today when our nation's leaders grapple with the issues on immigration, let us pause a moment to consider the stones that built this Nation. Though the process seems arduous, but i believe in the innate goodness of the American Public and human compassion will prevail for right before our very eyes stands the majestic lady with the burning torch, a beacon of hope to all who call these shores home.

New Beginnings

May all my beginnings be with You

As with this new page
Let my first words be about You.

You wove me together
In the secret place
of my mother’s womb.
I began with You
Before I was introduced to this world

My first memories
Are of stories told about You
While my mother nursed me.

As I toddled my way into childhood
You looked upon my antics
With benevolent adoring father’s eyes.

My struggle into adolescence
You strengthened me anew
With You taking on the persona
Of my confidante, my benefactor
My Best Friend.

With many a misstep and pitfalls
I have now stepped
Into the youth of my life
You reveal Yourself
Your true form.

You have always been,
Will Always be
More than I can comprehend.
You are all and more
You are my God.

A new chapter
A new nuance
In the relationship You have built with me.
Slowly revealing Yourself
For You know
I am but a mere mortal
Too abstract to discern
The Alpha and Omega of You.

Just a little while,
My youth will pass
And I will travel
The way of my forefathers
But one thing I am certain
You will be with me
Guiding me thro’ it all
May all my beginnings be with You.